| |
| |
|
Inspirational Information |
|
|
|
Following Through
Direct Answers - Column for the week of March 24, 2003 My final divorce papers sit in front of me waiting for my signature. In fact, they've been sitting on my desk for five days now. It took me two days to even open the envelope and another full day to look at the actual documents. I still haven't entirely read through them. I cannot bring myself to sign. Eight months ago, after months of emotional turmoil, we both agreed a divorce would be in our best interest. I was relieved at the time. I was tired of him drinking every night until he passed out on the sofa. I was tired of feeling belittled. I never quite healed from the affair I found out about, and I know there were others. We were married eight years. I never felt I was his partner in life. I felt I was just another piece of furniture. We have two beautiful little boys who adore their daddy. They were a big reason for wanting this divorce. I didn't want them growing up thinking drinking on a daily basis is normal. For years I wanted counseling. I would plead, "Let's go before our problems get out of control!" He insisted we didn't have anything we couldn't handle. By the time we made it to counseling it was too late. Besides, he refused to say he had an addiction. I tell myself if he truly reaches out for help and remains changed for a year after our divorce, maybe we could try with a fresh start. I heard a preacher say, "Fidelity is more than sexual fidelity. It is when every decision you make during the day is the best one for yourself, your spouse, and your children." Wayne and Tamara, that's the only relationship I want. The papers still sit in front of me. How do I know I'm doing the right thing? Felicity Felicity, what you are facing is the death of a dream, the dream of what your marriage was supposed to be like. Faced with the choice of drinking or losing his family, your husband continues to drink. You may have every reason to hope he will change, but you have absolutely no reason to believe he will change. Boys look to their father to show them how to be a man, and a drunk is someone who has clearly lost the way. Courts and the law have a simple view of the matter. They don't knowingly allow a child to be adopted in a family where one parent is an alcoholic. There are laws against drinking and driving. Perhaps there should be laws against drinking and parenting. You cannot focus on your husband sobering up. That has always been only under his power, and never under yours. He may be 20 years from admitting his problem. He may never admit it. You can't put your life on hold waiting for someone to do what they may never do. Tamara says she cannot even shop without having me in her mind. "Everything I lay my eyes upon," she says, "I lay my heart upon where lives my husband." Your mate has to be an enhancement to your life. It cannot be any other way. Wayne Geronimo! I'm a 19-year-old male from Liverpool, England. I'm a decent looking lad, but since I broke up from my first serious relationship, I haven't met anyone else. Can you give me advice on meeting girls and actually asking them out? Gunther Gunther, are you putting out vibes you are pining for your ex? Out with the old and in with the new. Look around and start asking?to movies, to lunch, to a bookstore, to whatever you fancy. Follow your own interests and what you have a passion for, and remember this is not like school, where one grade follows another. Love doesn't follow anyone's schedule, and that is why it is so wonderful. Tamara About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
MORE RESOURCES:
Inspirational - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Fear No Evil - How To Avoid Worry And Fear "Yeah, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for Thou art with me."Do these words have meaning for you? Are you able to live them? Is your faith that strong? For most of us, the answer is probably no. 7 Strategies to Overcoming Anxiety and Panic Attacks You Can Overcome panic attacks and anxiety! That is great news to those who suffer day in and day out, year in and year out. I have and I know that you can too. Songs of Life I imagine when we die we find out how in-tune with our hearts we should have been. Not an easy thing to do with all our mere mortal vices getting in the way. Game-Set-Match Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 21, 2003I don't know whether to call it jealousy or insecurity. My husband and I have been married almost 30 years. Get Your Guidance and Get to Know Your True Self Many people feel they have everything they need in life, yet happiness remains elusive. What is the key, the missing element when everything seems satisfactory externally? The answer: look within. Just a Typical Teenage Boy Judge not, lest ye be judged. -Matthew 7:1The call was controversial-just as all really close calls in baseball are. The Final Frontier When all that you have done has not brought you what you truly desire, isn't it about time to move out of the box ask questions and make changes?What would you think if you went to your doctor and he hit you over the head with a rubber hammer to knock you out before some minor surgery? Does the horse and buggy now serve you to take you to work each day? Would you settle for going down town to the telegraph office, to have a message sent to your aunt across the country? Could you possibly get along without your cel phone, fax machine or microwave oven?The answer is "of course not." We have evolved and our world is moving much too quickly to rely on out dated technology to serve us. The Power of Gratitude When my older son was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, my first reaction was relief - I finally knew the reason for his behavior. However, I was also overwhelmed with sadness, fear and anger. Its Not Always About the Benjamins, Baby Often when I receive emails from this list with folks, Telling me that they have discovered their life's purpose but they don't have the money to do what they need to start living their purpose.Please, please, please do not let your lack of money stand in the way of you living the life that God has planned for you to live. Self Acceptance - Lessons From My Hair Affair For our diet and, indeed, in every aspect of our lives, we must remember to relax from the demands of the unrealistic ideal. For those trying to lose weight, you cannot be the Barbie. 5 Simple Tips For A Better Life How can we enjoy a better lifestyle?'Easy' I hear you say, all you need is a few million dollars a beautiful home a happy loving family and all the time in the world to sit back relax and enjoy life's pleasures.Well wouldn't that be a simple solution! A short trip to see the friendly bank manager and all your problems are in the past; hmmm maybe not - so on the basis that you're like me and don't expect any windfalls in the coming weeks here are 5 simple tips to improving your lifestyle. Breaking Bonds I am just out of high school, and I have come to realize what I really want is completely out of my family's standards. I come from an Indian family, where the standards are extremely high. $12 And 90 Minutes To Change Your Life Have you ever listened to self hypnosis tapes? Or listened repeatedly to certain music that carried a specific message? Or what about, have you attended weekly services within a specific religious venue?What do all of these have in common? They influence and change your thinking and paradigm over time to whatever it is they espouse.James Allen wrote "as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he". Secrets Exposed Direct Answers - Column for the week of October 13, 2003I've been friends with "Jenny" for three years after my husband and I started a business with her husband. When her husband decided he didn't want to come to work anymore, we pretty much took his name off the business, and they stopped calling and coming over. Change Begins With Choice Any day we wish we can discipline ourselves to change it all. Any day we wish; we can open the book that will open our mind to new knowledge. Anamcara - Being Forever Enough When was the last time you felt you were enough just as you are? When was the last time you felt that you were seen as the being you are? When was the last time you felt unconditionally loved and loving?When was the last time you felt life was itself enough? There was nothing to be added. There was nothing to be taken way. The Importance of Friendship My students and clients have constantly heard me stress that our Martial Art is more than just a physical discipline; that it is a discipline that develops both the mind and body. This is so important that Soke Masaaki Hatsumi, the grand master of our lineages, has made it the primary thrust of just about every one of his books about Ninpo and Martial Arts in general. Improvisational Why are we trying so hard? It is like we are in a race to get somewhere and we don't even know where that is anymore. We have lost contact with spirit and the purpose we have given our lives and we are going around in circles chasing our tails. No More Frustration: The Thorns of Opportunity - Part II The quest for the ultimate victory.In part one I shared with you how not knowing what you don't know, much like the "thorny" gardener, can rob you of your time, and keep you from enjoying and living the life you want. Create Resistance or Creative Acceptance Resistance is not a new word, but for many of us awareness of resistance is new. In Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, resistance is defined: "to withstand, to strive against, to exert force in opposition, to counteract, defeat or frustrate.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
